Moving On : Letting Go The Grip of The Past.

Let’s be honest, adapting to change in life, could be very overwhelming sometimes. We lose things we hold so tightly. We lose things we fight for. It’s as if, we could lose any of the things we’re currently holding, in a blink of an eye.

All the more, people come and go, relationship ends, we get into college, or for some others, get into a new job. In our life, we’re always walking from one place to another, we go through new changes. A new chapter. A new beginning. Life moves on.

We’re destined to change. We’re made to evolve.

But as life goes by, sometimes it’s hard for us to keep the pace. To keep following the pace of how live moves on in its time line. To adjust our steps into the rapid changes. To adapt with all the things we lost, missed, and replaced.

We struggle to let go of what’s no longer a part of our journey. Sometimes, we get so attached to the things we’ve lost, that it made our steps harder to move forward. We are mentally trapped in the moments we still long to feel, causing us to struggle in moving on.

We get our heart broken. We lose the people we love. We were forced to walk hand in hand with grief, and the feeling of lost, within the journeys of our life.

But the thing with moving on, you cannot force it to happen. You cannot force it to come to you. You can’t force something out of your mind, even if you don’t want to think about it. You don’t and you can’t move on, just because someone ask you to. You can’t just forget about someone in a blink of an eye. You can’t just forget about the past by relying on ignorance, then act completely fine after. That is not how moving on works.

You don’t heal by ignoring the pain you’re feeling. You don’t heal by neglecting your emotions. You don’t heal by ignorance.

You heal, when you come to terms with your emotions.

You let go, when you realize you can’t keep on dwelling on what you’ve lost.

You move on, once you’ve settled with what you’ve lost.

You begin to let go, the moment you realized, that you’ll never find peace by standing on the rubble of your past habits. You begin to move on, the moment you start building a new foundation.

Keep in mind, that during the process of letting go, during the process of moving on, you’ll find discomfort in it. You’ll find yourself getting hit by the wave of emotions. And when the wave hits, let it washes you away. Let it sink you away. Feel the rush of the emotions. Get drown in it. Dive deeper in it, and feel the depth of the emotions.

This is what we call as relapses. The ones that made us question our steps in “moving on.” The ones that made us doubt ourselves, over the steps we’re taking on. Whenever you feel the relapse hitting you, let it come to you. Sit with it, listen to it, feel it within you.

Instead of forcing yourself to “let go” of these emotions, tell yourself that it’s human to “feel” these emotions. Tell yourself that it’s human to be broken. Tell yourself that it’s human to be covered in wounds and screeching scars.

Tell yourself that you can fall apart. That you can crumble. That are allowed to cry it out. Let the flow of your tears drench you wet. Be open to it. Be welcome to it, the same way you’re welcoming every bits of the joy in the world.

Losing someone we love, or losing a job we work hard for, causes us pain. But within those pain, lies a strength of a new foundation. You start to see “loss” with a new point of view. You start to see that the “loss,” calls out a part of you that would have remained buried, if you hadn’t experienced the “loss” itself.

The process on healing, letting go, and moving on, might seems messy to you. But that is the beauty of moving on. That, it is very abstract. That, there is resilience in the messiness of letting go and moving on. There is resilience in the messiness of life. There is also strength that lies within our scars.

You cannot change of what has happened in the past. You cannot go back in time, and choose a different path for a different ending. But what you can do, is look at the past with a new point of view. Take a moment to sit, feel the emotions you felt in that particular “phase” of your life. You are not who you are a year ago, even though the pieces of the memories remain in you. You are not who you are 10 years ago, even though the pieces of the memories builds the “you” today.

You are not destroyed by the pain of your suffer. You are shaped by it. You grew from it. We are all broken in our ways. It is only with the broken parts of ourselves, that lets the light pass within the crevices, to our heart.

You make room by letting go of what’s not meant to hold you, and what’s not meant for you to hold.

You make room for yourself. You make room for the better ones to come.

Tha, 2024.